R.I.P. Reading

It is with a heavy heart that I announce the death of Reading. Reading was murdered in a small suburban town earlier this week. Teachers on the scene tried their best to save Reading but their cries for help and efforts were unsuccessful.  The police are currently questioning two suspects; the Basal Reader and the Common Core. 

Reading lived a long life and its passing has left many saddened. "But I loved reading novels and having my teacher read novels to me.  It makes me very sad that others won't be able to experience that joy and will only read crummy textbook stories and nonfiction articles," stated Thomas, a ten year old boy. Reading faced many great obstacles in its life, beginning with its birth and the idea that only the wealthy needed to learn to live with Reading. In the past few years Reading hit an all time high with the birth of the Harry Potter series. Every child in the world was enthralled in the magic of Reading and for the first time in years, Reading was popular among children and adults. The world celebrated Reading. 

With the introduction of the Common Core Reading began to worry and become ill.  "Will there be time for me in a normal school day?" He often lamented.  Teachers shared these concerns and vowed to make time for Reading for the sake of their students. Both parties became increasingly concerned when talk of Basal Readers increased and the need for them to replace REAL Reading in order to pass high stakes tests. Many people attempted to provide the life support measures that Reading required but were unsuccessful in doing so. Reading will be sorely missed. 

Services for Reading will be held in classrooms across the nation this coming September.  

*This entry was born from a night out with a few teacher friends as our district begins to implement portions of a basal reading program. It certainly meets my bizarre sense of humor, and hopefully yours. 

-Damien 

The Reading Buddies